An Introduction

Original Post: October 25, 2006

I'd like to introduce you to someone. She's such a lovely girl. Everyone who meets her just loves her. She's so funny and sweet--she's a blast to be around. Let me introduce you--you'll just love her--she'll crack you up...just let me find her.
There I am--she pointed--I'm right there. Can you see me? I'm getting out of bed, going to work, smiling, talking on the phone. I'm with my friends, I'm going to dinner, I'm toasting marshmellows, laughing, going out for drinks--look--there I am at a party, at a Bucs game, drinking beer, having Mexican, I'm out dancing, God--did I just giggle? I'm touching, kissing, breathing...
Can you see me? No...not there, not that part of me...Here--floating above all of that--watching the shell of myself--How can you not tell that's not really me? How can you not tell the laugh is hollow? That my eyes are vacant? That my kiss is empty? Why hasn't anyone taken me by the shoulders and shaken the life back into me? Why hasn't anyone resolved to snap me back into the cavern that I call my body and force me to stop laughing? Is it possible that they haven't noticed...am I that good at faking it? Have I been doing it that long that no one can find me? Or is it that everyone else is trying so hard to go unnoticed as well--are they merely empty shells with painfully bright smiles too? Does their laughter echo through their hollow chests so hard it hurts? Wouldn't it be a shame if that were the case and I didn't notice?
She is such a lovely girl. She is very funny and so full of life. Don't you love her? Her smile is so cute, isn't it? Her laugh cracks me up--I love when she laughs like that--don't you? She is just a blast to be around...