Anti-American Sporting Rant

Original Post: November 8, 2006

I'd like to take a moment to address a frustration--a sporting frustration. It's about cricket. Are you familiar with cricket? I am assuming as most of my readers are from the states, that you are not. It is for the best--please, remain blissfully unaware. It is the most inane activity I have ever seen. I'm actually convinced it is a sham--something other countries have come up with in order to mock the US. As in "can you believe that those dumb Americans think we actually play this game? Let's see how long we can get them to watch this for." Did you know there are cricket matches that go on for DAYS. I'm not kidding people...DAYS. ONE GAME! Not like "march madness" where it's a few weeks of intense competition in a play-off situation. I'm talking ONE F-ING GAME--the SAME F-ING PLAYERS--the SAME F-ING MATCH. And what kind of game can have a score of 135-7??? That has got to be a joke. And do not even get me started on the outfits.
The real travesty. The real outrage. The real sick thing about it. They have fantasy cricket. Yeah, I wish I were kidding.
PS. I do enjoy the word wicket
§ A opossum can only run 7 miles an hour and has more teeth than any other terrestrial mammal. The male opossum has a forked penis. They don't actually hang by their tales (which I find to be terribly disappointing) and they have an opposable thumb on their back foot.